The Powers of Good And Evil
What makes a person good and what qualifies a person as being Evil?
This weekend this question has made me wonder quite a bit. A few years ago I had a falling out with someone who I considered a very good friend. I will add in the caveat that this friend, while was a good friend, often lied to me about everything. No matter what the situation was, he lied. He often lied about very frivilous things. For instance, he would lie about if he went out to a club the night before. Even though, you know that you saw him there, dancing with serveral people, the next day when you mentioned it to him, he would tell you that you were mistaken. Just one of those type of people.
Anyway, fast forward a couple of years. I fall for this guy-- HARD. So bad, that I couldn't even see outside of the situation to realize that he wasn't worthy of any of my affections. The guy knew my feelings and they weren't reciprocated (Which in the long run has been such a gift!) However, he often liked to flaunt the fact that I had feelings for him, and in my opinnion would often take advantage of my vulnerable feelings for him.
As the game of cat and mouse grew more and more tiresome, we often had very volatile arguments and in the end we walked away from each other. Although, I wanted to make this parting as friends amicable, this friend was too busy with "Gym obligations" to meet up with me to make this possible. Again, like I said a really horrible person. So, ever since our parting we have not even acknowledged each other's presence, despite the fact we live a street away from each other, go to the same bars, etc.
Since we have parted 3 years ago, there hasn't been any correspondence, other than the usual evil stares, until recently.
A friend of mine decided that it would be a good idea to gather all of his friends once a month at one of the local bars in our city. The idea is that he and all of his friends would meet at different bars once a month to get reaquainted with each other and just a have a good time. When I glanced over the evite to put down my maybe response (it was on the evening I had class), I noticed that this old friend that I had was on the evite list.
This I found disturbing on many levels. Primarily because I didn't realize that this friend was even friends with this guy, and the only connection they had that I knew of was by me. Second, my friend never mentioned to me that they were friends and he knew the situation. Although, I have moved on from the situation that occurred with the friend I had the "irreconcilible differences" with, I can't help but feel a little betrayed by the friend who never even bothered to mention that he was friends with this guy. I don't care that he is, just the idea that he would fail to mention this to me, makes me feel like there was some kind of deceit going on in his part.
Perhaps I am jumping the gun and I do realize this, but another one of my friends (who is also associated with the friend I feel a little slighted by) mentioned the whole situation of the friend I had the demise with years ago and asked what needs to be done to resolve the issue.
My natural response was "Why do you care?" and "Hell will need to freeze over to fix this situation." I can certainly live peacefully without having to deal with this friend and I don't feel the need to resolve any hard feelings that might exist with this situation.
This friend was like, I would like to resolve this issue between you. I said, I rather you didn't, etc, etc.
Basically, after that, we moved on, but now I don't know why this situation is coming back on the surface and why do other people care if there is a solution to the problem. I have made peace with the situation, so why do other people want to make peace with it themselves- especially since the problem doesn't involve them.
Frustraed and Confused, I am hoping that someone could give me some insight to the following things.
1.) Should I be upset with the friends that seem to be associating with him and never in three years mention this to me?
2.) Am I being selfish by not feeling the need to resolve the issue?
If anyone has insight on what I should do about this situation, please let me know!
This weekend this question has made me wonder quite a bit. A few years ago I had a falling out with someone who I considered a very good friend. I will add in the caveat that this friend, while was a good friend, often lied to me about everything. No matter what the situation was, he lied. He often lied about very frivilous things. For instance, he would lie about if he went out to a club the night before. Even though, you know that you saw him there, dancing with serveral people, the next day when you mentioned it to him, he would tell you that you were mistaken. Just one of those type of people.
Anyway, fast forward a couple of years. I fall for this guy-- HARD. So bad, that I couldn't even see outside of the situation to realize that he wasn't worthy of any of my affections. The guy knew my feelings and they weren't reciprocated (Which in the long run has been such a gift!) However, he often liked to flaunt the fact that I had feelings for him, and in my opinnion would often take advantage of my vulnerable feelings for him.
As the game of cat and mouse grew more and more tiresome, we often had very volatile arguments and in the end we walked away from each other. Although, I wanted to make this parting as friends amicable, this friend was too busy with "Gym obligations" to meet up with me to make this possible. Again, like I said a really horrible person. So, ever since our parting we have not even acknowledged each other's presence, despite the fact we live a street away from each other, go to the same bars, etc.
Since we have parted 3 years ago, there hasn't been any correspondence, other than the usual evil stares, until recently.
A friend of mine decided that it would be a good idea to gather all of his friends once a month at one of the local bars in our city. The idea is that he and all of his friends would meet at different bars once a month to get reaquainted with each other and just a have a good time. When I glanced over the evite to put down my maybe response (it was on the evening I had class), I noticed that this old friend that I had was on the evite list.
This I found disturbing on many levels. Primarily because I didn't realize that this friend was even friends with this guy, and the only connection they had that I knew of was by me. Second, my friend never mentioned to me that they were friends and he knew the situation. Although, I have moved on from the situation that occurred with the friend I had the "irreconcilible differences" with, I can't help but feel a little betrayed by the friend who never even bothered to mention that he was friends with this guy. I don't care that he is, just the idea that he would fail to mention this to me, makes me feel like there was some kind of deceit going on in his part.
Perhaps I am jumping the gun and I do realize this, but another one of my friends (who is also associated with the friend I feel a little slighted by) mentioned the whole situation of the friend I had the demise with years ago and asked what needs to be done to resolve the issue.
My natural response was "Why do you care?" and "Hell will need to freeze over to fix this situation." I can certainly live peacefully without having to deal with this friend and I don't feel the need to resolve any hard feelings that might exist with this situation.
This friend was like, I would like to resolve this issue between you. I said, I rather you didn't, etc, etc.
Basically, after that, we moved on, but now I don't know why this situation is coming back on the surface and why do other people care if there is a solution to the problem. I have made peace with the situation, so why do other people want to make peace with it themselves- especially since the problem doesn't involve them.
Frustraed and Confused, I am hoping that someone could give me some insight to the following things.
1.) Should I be upset with the friends that seem to be associating with him and never in three years mention this to me?
2.) Am I being selfish by not feeling the need to resolve the issue?
If anyone has insight on what I should do about this situation, please let me know!
posted by flawedperfection @ 10:05 AM
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