Fat Ass Boyfriend?!?!?!
I can't deny that I have gained weight. I also can't deny that I would like to lose most of the weight I gained and be toned. However, for the time being, I have been able to live with how I look, in order to be able to finish my grad. degree. Since I am a perfectionist (and most studies will validate what I am about to say,) there is one area, in a perfectionist life, that manages to fall to the waistside. For me, it has been my physical fitness, and I have chosen that because I know that eventually (someday soon), I can go back to it and become toned once again-- or at the very least more fit than I am currently.
To give you an image about myself, I don't consider myself to be unhealthy with my extra weight. I would like to classify it as not taking two seats on a bus, rather, its more like there is a pleasant blumpnes to me.
You must be wondering why I am mentioning this to you? Well... You're about to find out...
Last night, I went out with a friend of mine to have a drink. My friend recently broke up with his longtime boyfriend, and it wasn't done in the most idealistic way, and last night they decided to meet up and discuss a few things. Being the good friend that I am, I decided to meet up with him after their encounter, to be sure to keep his mind off of the situation, or lend an ear to him (whatever he wanted.)
So, we go to a local, well-know gay bar near my apt., and we just sit at a table and talk for a good half hour, not really paying attention to our surroundings. Until we noticed, this guy and his fag hag, staring at my friend. Although we noticed this, we just joked about it, etc., and didn't take it too seriously.
Well, just before he leaves, he gives my friend a note that said: "Call me if you ever get rid of your fat ass boyfriend."
Obviously he was referring to me. To say that I was insulted is putting it midly. Like I have said before, I realized I put on weight, and I realize that I need to loose a few lbs ( I want to do this for me, not anyone else), however, what gives him the right to put that on a note to someone who my friend at the very least has a friendly tie with.
The guy of course rushed out of the bar, before I had time to confront him. -- Coward--
The gay community is very fit and dick conscious (the penis is allowed to be abundant, but not the tummy). I have come to learn this from the gay bible. However, its my body and my life and I know what I look like and I can't believe people in the world would judge you based on what you do with your own body. I can't deny part of my angst about this situation, results from a subconsicous-- ok, conscious-- level that I am unhappy with the way I look.
I really try to not think about my looks that much these days, because like I have said my primary focus is getting my grad. degree. However, there are times when I long for the days that I was skinner, etc. Sometimes, I really wish the world didn't judge you on face value. I can't say that I don't act the same way, but when the cruelty happens to you, it doesn't feel or taste quite as good as when you are dishing it out.
While I realize (and hope) that my situationi is temporary. I wonder how this will affect me in the future when I go out, or when I try to become intimate with someone. Will this assholes thoughts of me circulate through my brain until the point, I am so depressed that I don't eat, and *magically* loose the weight.
I hate to admit that I am someone at times who cares what others think of me, more than I think of myself. However, I guess that makes me human. I just hope that if I do ever become someone's boyfriend again, that he will not think of me as his "Fat Ass Boyfriend."
To give you an image about myself, I don't consider myself to be unhealthy with my extra weight. I would like to classify it as not taking two seats on a bus, rather, its more like there is a pleasant blumpnes to me.
You must be wondering why I am mentioning this to you? Well... You're about to find out...
Last night, I went out with a friend of mine to have a drink. My friend recently broke up with his longtime boyfriend, and it wasn't done in the most idealistic way, and last night they decided to meet up and discuss a few things. Being the good friend that I am, I decided to meet up with him after their encounter, to be sure to keep his mind off of the situation, or lend an ear to him (whatever he wanted.)
So, we go to a local, well-know gay bar near my apt., and we just sit at a table and talk for a good half hour, not really paying attention to our surroundings. Until we noticed, this guy and his fag hag, staring at my friend. Although we noticed this, we just joked about it, etc., and didn't take it too seriously.
Well, just before he leaves, he gives my friend a note that said: "Call me if you ever get rid of your fat ass boyfriend."
Obviously he was referring to me. To say that I was insulted is putting it midly. Like I have said before, I realized I put on weight, and I realize that I need to loose a few lbs ( I want to do this for me, not anyone else), however, what gives him the right to put that on a note to someone who my friend at the very least has a friendly tie with.
The guy of course rushed out of the bar, before I had time to confront him. -- Coward--
The gay community is very fit and dick conscious (the penis is allowed to be abundant, but not the tummy). I have come to learn this from the gay bible. However, its my body and my life and I know what I look like and I can't believe people in the world would judge you based on what you do with your own body. I can't deny part of my angst about this situation, results from a subconsicous-- ok, conscious-- level that I am unhappy with the way I look.
I really try to not think about my looks that much these days, because like I have said my primary focus is getting my grad. degree. However, there are times when I long for the days that I was skinner, etc. Sometimes, I really wish the world didn't judge you on face value. I can't say that I don't act the same way, but when the cruelty happens to you, it doesn't feel or taste quite as good as when you are dishing it out.
While I realize (and hope) that my situationi is temporary. I wonder how this will affect me in the future when I go out, or when I try to become intimate with someone. Will this assholes thoughts of me circulate through my brain until the point, I am so depressed that I don't eat, and *magically* loose the weight.
I hate to admit that I am someone at times who cares what others think of me, more than I think of myself. However, I guess that makes me human. I just hope that if I do ever become someone's boyfriend again, that he will not think of me as his "Fat Ass Boyfriend."
posted by flawedperfection @ 7:26 AM
2 Comments:
At 3:12 PM,
Christopher said…
Well, being the only other person who witnessed this event, I feel I must make a brief comment. The fellow in question who left the offensive napkins had NO ROOM WHATSOEVER to comment on someone else's appearance. He looked like he hadn't washed in a week, was wearing weird glasses, a strange hat, and had so many odd piercings he looked like some kind of carnival freak. (My goodness, that doesn't sound very tolerant, does it...) Anyway, I'm SURE the only way he could feel better about himself was to insult someone else.
At 4:12 PM,
Anonymous said…
My jaw dropped when I read this story. I just stumbled upon your blog and so far I'm finding it interesting enough to read all your posts. I enjoy reading comments sometimes just as much as the blogs/articles themselves and was really surprised there were so few. What a piece of work that guy was. He was obviously jealous and decided to attack you with such a ignorant jab. Let him suffer the company of his fag hags while you enjoy the company of a true friend.
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