Playing the Field/ Knowing The Game.

Dating is a disaster for me.

I have always been unable to read the right signals, and always, without fail, I let my nerves get the best of me, which can result in royally screwing up a nice evening, and my chances for a second date.

The game between me and that potential special someone has always been difficult as well. When I seem to think that the person likes me- they don't, or when I think that they don't like me- they wind up liking me afterall.

This has happened often in my lifetime, and yesterday it happened again.

Currently, I am in a midst of a rain forest of dating opportunities. Over the past few weeks, I have gone on about a half dozen dates and I have about 3 more this week (I know.. Crazy). Considering that the past 4 months have been like living in the Sahara... This is a welcomed addition to my life. I am actually enjoying meeting new people, and have not been tired of experiencing the plentiful of bad dates.

Yesterday, I had an unexpected date with someone who I didn't even know thought I was cute. I was online last night, in a chatroom (yes, I was being a little naughty), and I see this guy, who my one friend thought was cute a while back, but nothing ever evolved from it. I have seen this guy out at the local watering hole for us gay people in the city, so I figured I say a friendly hello.

Almost immediately after that.. The fliriting begins-- of course initiated by him.

Things progress nicely, and then he says.. Let's meet for coffee. He stated that he a terrible cold prreviously in our conversation, and said he was willing to forgoe his pain from the cold, to meet up with me. Real charmer....

We meet up. He's handsome, smart, very nice... A Total catch, with just one catch.. He kind of comes off as a player. The whole player thing just annoys me, and I don't know yet whether its a front or really who he is. Afterall, he confessed to me how adorable he thought I was.. So, it could be a protective shell he is caring on himself, to avoid being hurt. I don't know yet-- Men are hard to predict.

Also, we meet at place that he frequents- so everyone under the sun knows who he is. Which, of course, made it harder for us to get to know each other.

Although he previously told me that he was a player in our IM dialogue, at the coffee shop, I have to say that he was very timid and very shy. Conversation wasn't strained, but I think it was a shock to both of our systems that we were meeting up. And besides...... I try to never reveal too much about myself on a first date....

He did say to me a couple of times how he couldn't believe "that I didn't know that he was checking me out." Again, this is where the density with me and romance comes in.. I did notice that he was starting at me, but I thought he was being friendly- or someone who couldn't blink- either way, I never thought it was a romantic stare.

We ended the evening on a semi-climatic note. Since he was sick, I gave a faux hug, and I went on my merry way. When I got in, of course I went back to the chatroom to see if he was there.. And he was.... Is he really a player? He told me that I had competition-- again, another problem with me is that I am not a competitor.. If you want me -fine, if not, see you later.... I did mention that in a joking way, but I wonder if it threw him for a loop or not?

So, I have my friend, who was also online IM him and see what he thought, etc. I know its Swarmy, but I I don't care.. I wanted to know. Of course he gave ambiguous answers (said how he didn't want to hurt me, but had a good time, doesn't know where it will go-- blah, blah, blah, blah, snor, blah, snor, blah, snor, etc.).

What I am wondering is where to go next? I like this guy on some level and there is an attraction, but I don't want for him to play me. I don't want to have relations with him, thinking there is more to it than just the relations. I am mature adult and if that is only what he wants, then I wouldn't be heartbroken about it (considering I am dating other people, myself). However, I don't want to be played for a fool.

So, audience (you), tell me how I should play this. I don't want to give him too much control or think that I am stalking him, but at the same time, I am intrigued, attracted and would like to see where this thing could take us. I guess what I am asking is how do I play this right. How can I get the information I want, without ending up with pie on my face?

Any suggestions would be awesome.