Destination Nowhere
I have been dating quite a bit lately. Actually, I have probably not have had this busy of a dating life in about 6-8 months.
This time around I have met some really great guys. To be honest, I really should feel lucky that I have met men who are so attentive-- phone calls, e-mails to see how I am doing. Taking me to dinner, etc.
Still, though, I haven't really been feeling the whole dating vibe. No butterflies, no excitement, and certainly-- and this is new for me-- no expecations.
Over the last month and half or so, I have begun to have lower and lower expectations of situations and especially with people. This isn't an entirely new behavior for me. In the past, I have gone into slumps where I just don't care about anything up to including getting out of bed and/or showering.
However, this isn't necessarily a sad emotion (or maybe it is and I just have gotten used to feeling this way), but rather just a feeling of "Que Sera," whatever will be will be. I just have been finding it mentally exhausitng to think about where I am going, who I am going to be with, how long it will take meet to X goal, and especially the most important thought of all, what will the love of my life will be like and when will I meet him.
I am someone who always works in windows. A lot of my friends have called me out on it. While this behavior is good to have when organizing events, its not quite as effective when trying to organize the emotional aspects to your life.
Maybe I have come to realize, somewhat subconsciously, to put certain things in its place. And to just appreciate the moment and letting things come as they may. Even when it seems that I don't know where I am going or when I will end up there.
This time around I have met some really great guys. To be honest, I really should feel lucky that I have met men who are so attentive-- phone calls, e-mails to see how I am doing. Taking me to dinner, etc.
Still, though, I haven't really been feeling the whole dating vibe. No butterflies, no excitement, and certainly-- and this is new for me-- no expecations.
Over the last month and half or so, I have begun to have lower and lower expectations of situations and especially with people. This isn't an entirely new behavior for me. In the past, I have gone into slumps where I just don't care about anything up to including getting out of bed and/or showering.
However, this isn't necessarily a sad emotion (or maybe it is and I just have gotten used to feeling this way), but rather just a feeling of "Que Sera," whatever will be will be. I just have been finding it mentally exhausitng to think about where I am going, who I am going to be with, how long it will take meet to X goal, and especially the most important thought of all, what will the love of my life will be like and when will I meet him.
I am someone who always works in windows. A lot of my friends have called me out on it. While this behavior is good to have when organizing events, its not quite as effective when trying to organize the emotional aspects to your life.
Maybe I have come to realize, somewhat subconsciously, to put certain things in its place. And to just appreciate the moment and letting things come as they may. Even when it seems that I don't know where I am going or when I will end up there.
posted by flawedperfection @ 7:22 AM
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