Gym Update... Flashes of a Polaroid
*Sigh*
Why can't someone just see how beautiful you are on the inside, and not care about your physicality?
I know, I know.. I do the same exact thing. It seem inuitive for us to do so-- doesn't it? We rank everything about a person by their looks, what kind of job they have, and what's in their retirement portfolio?
And........
To be honest it seems reasonable enough that we do so. I can't blame someone who is sacrificing the foods that would rather have, in favor of dieting to get those toned muscles, etc. Why would they want to end up with someone, similar to myself, who has a flabby body at the moment?
Still.. some part of me wants an attractive guy to really be into me enough for me to know that going to gym isn't a pre-requisite for us to date.
As you can tell by my post thus far.. I am pretty frustrated with the gym. I am finally starting to see minor signs of improvement on my body. However, everytime someone takes my picture, and I see them, I completely cringe and feel like I am not getting anywhere.
When I was 23-26, I had shedded those much needed extra lbs. that I had gained in undergrad and got skinny enough to really feel really attractive. However, now that I am done graduate school (and I also have extra lbs. from that experience), I am finding it harder and harder to shed those lbs. More importantly, my diet is actually becoming harder to control since starting my working routine.
What is a gay guy to do? I am not saying this to scare off men, but I do want to settle down before I hit my scary age of 35-- and while its still 6 years away--, I feel that I need my goal body now to ensure that can occur.
I really don't know how I have gone this long with this distortion in how I look to the outside world. I feel like I have been viewing myself as a swan, but in reality, I am resembling a troll.
Don't feel bad for me, I am not feeling bad for myself, just frustrated!
I am just so sick of metabolism, I am sick of working out--sweating like a pig-- while feeling no real result, and honestly, feeling less and less attractive to myself.
I mean, afterall, if you don't find yourself a catch, who else will?
I do realize that no one can give me the answers I need. I need to find them within my own self and save my own identity if I want to make progress with any goals that I have.
It just feels like after each item I have proven to myself I can accomplish, I seem to be failing miserably at controlling the way own body looks.
Any input is always appreciated.
Why can't someone just see how beautiful you are on the inside, and not care about your physicality?
I know, I know.. I do the same exact thing. It seem inuitive for us to do so-- doesn't it? We rank everything about a person by their looks, what kind of job they have, and what's in their retirement portfolio?
And........
To be honest it seems reasonable enough that we do so. I can't blame someone who is sacrificing the foods that would rather have, in favor of dieting to get those toned muscles, etc. Why would they want to end up with someone, similar to myself, who has a flabby body at the moment?
Still.. some part of me wants an attractive guy to really be into me enough for me to know that going to gym isn't a pre-requisite for us to date.
As you can tell by my post thus far.. I am pretty frustrated with the gym. I am finally starting to see minor signs of improvement on my body. However, everytime someone takes my picture, and I see them, I completely cringe and feel like I am not getting anywhere.
When I was 23-26, I had shedded those much needed extra lbs. that I had gained in undergrad and got skinny enough to really feel really attractive. However, now that I am done graduate school (and I also have extra lbs. from that experience), I am finding it harder and harder to shed those lbs. More importantly, my diet is actually becoming harder to control since starting my working routine.
What is a gay guy to do? I am not saying this to scare off men, but I do want to settle down before I hit my scary age of 35-- and while its still 6 years away--, I feel that I need my goal body now to ensure that can occur.
I really don't know how I have gone this long with this distortion in how I look to the outside world. I feel like I have been viewing myself as a swan, but in reality, I am resembling a troll.
Don't feel bad for me, I am not feeling bad for myself, just frustrated!
I am just so sick of metabolism, I am sick of working out--sweating like a pig-- while feeling no real result, and honestly, feeling less and less attractive to myself.
I mean, afterall, if you don't find yourself a catch, who else will?
I do realize that no one can give me the answers I need. I need to find them within my own self and save my own identity if I want to make progress with any goals that I have.
It just feels like after each item I have proven to myself I can accomplish, I seem to be failing miserably at controlling the way own body looks.
Any input is always appreciated.
posted by flawedperfection @ 5:06 PM
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