Toliet Seat War

Yes, Ladies and Gentleman the war has begun. No longer are the days of the cold war, or silent battles, the war has begun. Begun with whom you ask?

My toliet seat(s).

Yes, you heard me correctly, I am at war with my toliet seat. After 4 months and purchasing just as many toliet seats, because seemgingly these toliets seats seem to break on me after like 3 uses. This war is being declared, because I am sick of having to put out 20 dollars a pop on a seat that I know won't last long.

My last attempt occurred last month and much to my surprise, I was putting on the seat incorrectly the previous two times-- which caused for my seat to loosen and during very private, pivotal moments, that often help to push me and the seat off the center of the toliet before my time was up.

I thought after my last purchase of a retchid toliet seat that my worries were finally over. And for a while they were. The seat was securely fastened and I began to have zero worries of where I would end up if I made a slight turn or movement.

However, it seems that NOW the top half of my seat is broken! The top where the screws fasten into the seat to connect to the bottom half of the seat are now popping out and now cannot line up with the seat.

This is frustrating as hell, and these are moments where I wish I had a man in my life. I get that I should know how to do this shit myself, but to be honest, I really don't and I can't change that. What's more frustrating is that the last time I REALLY tried to do it correctly! Granted the bottom half of the seat is in place and now there are no more worries with that. Still, though, it would be nice to feel like I conquered one house duty that I challenged myself to accomplish.

I have faced the facts that I am horrible cook, an even worse cleaner, and know that the man I finally meet will have to be an incredibly wonderful person. However, the one thing I learned from my father is that toliet seat is the "Mans' Thrown". I mean how can I be the true king of my castle, if I can't get my thrown to obey me!

In my usual instinct to protest societies norm and expectations, I am refusing to change this seat until I absolutely have to. I am tired of shelling countle$$ amount$ of money on a damn seat that I know won't last more than 30 days.

Perhaps, I should just superglue the seat, what do you think?