Take Me Out To The Ballgame, Or Maybe NOT.

There has been quite the debate between me and my friend Chris for months now about whehter a guy, who wears a baseball cap, is a direct determinent of my attraction towards them.

Of course, I refuse(d) to believe that I would be instantly attracted to a man because they chose to wear a hat the night that I met them.

Turns out Chris was actually right.

The other night I had a revelation. As I was drinking one too many Coronas, so I could tolerate the cat scratching (aka. a bunch of men singing sappy love songs out of tune) that was occurring at my favorite bar, I began to see many, many, many men that I was instantly attracted too. Ones that I thought were so HOT, and in my constant stares at some of these guys, one of them in particular caused me to wake up to what Chris has been telling me for months.

This "guy" had dark hair, tall and had a nicely shape body (not too big and not too small-- yuck to both ends of that curve). As this "male" made his way past my table, I thought my tongue was going to drop out from the panting that I was performing internally.

That is, until, I realize this was no male. This was a woman!

Granted, this woman (most definitely a lesbian), could definitely be mistaken for the male species to the naked eye-- about the amount of distance I first saw her from, to be exact. However, in my instinctual attraction to baseball caps, this resulted in me being caught way off guard.

This wasn't the only bizarre instance that occurred with baseball caps that evening. I saw a REAL boy wearing one and thought he was a definite cutie, and actually felt we had met before.

Turns out that we have met, and it wasn't a good experience.

This male who I was making googely eyes toward works out at my gym and who, btw, I have despised since the moment I met him. Whenever I have been at the gym, he has ignored my friendly nods or attempts of being nice towards him. Now, this wouldn't be a problem if he was a complete stranger, but he isn't. He and I actually at some point had the same trainer and have worked out together!

How could you ignore someone that you have sweat with so much? Its just plain rude! I mean, really, don't you think so?

After I had these two different experiences. I realized why I have this attraction to men in baseball caps, and I came to one conclusion:

They are unattainable and a challenge for me. And like most people ,I love conquering a challenge, and this is one that I haven't yet been able to overcome.

These guys are so hot to me because, most of the men I have dated who wear caps, have been complete assholes towards me. As a result, like most idiots in the world, I am determined to do anything to get control over them and win this battle I have with my head and heart and their's.

Its funny to actually realize your own pattern-- especially when one of your close friends sees it before you do.

Having these experiences and having this revelation has left me to succumb to one thing:

Break the pattern.

How will I do this (because I do find men irrestible in caps-- OH MY GOD-- THEY ARE HOT!)?

I have no idea, but I am going to attempt to make a start at it-- and hopefully not develop a new pattern while doing this process!!

Have any ideas on how to be successful on breaking it-- I am willing to try anything!