What Do You When.....
You don't want to hurt someones feelings, but you also don't want to do something out of obligation?
Goodness Gracious! Its not even Christmas and I am ALREADY thinking about my birthday at the end of January.
In case you didn't know, each year I organize a birthday dinner, in my honor. To this dinner, I invite all my friends and a select few from my family. Its a blast!
Anyway, I don't EVEN know how this subject evolved, but the question of whether I would invite a certain coworker of mine to my b-day dinner came up today.
Here is where the problem lies:
I am very friendly with a good portion of my coworkers, and these people do indeed work with this other person that my friend, who is also my coworker, was asking me about. However, this person would be described--at best-- as socially awkward.
This obviously makes me feel at a crossroads on what to do. There is the one side of me who doesn't want to hurt the feelings of one of the coworkers that I eat lunch with, while I invite the other two. And then there is this feeling that keeps coming into my head about how this person will come, say something rather obnoxious or what would be considered rude (of course not on purpose), and create some hidden tension at the table.
I am not particularly close to this coworker, but I don't HATE him either. My friend said that I should just invite him, because she doubts he will go AND if he does, then she will babysit him.
That's all fine and good, I guess... But I can't help feeling that why should I invite someone to my own 30Th b-day dinner, that I would rather not be there overall? Again, I realize it sounds cruel, but if its my night I feel I shouldn't have to worry about the reactions of my friends in the room about what this person might say--which,again, I think, is unpredictable.
I certainly don't want to hurt his feelings and I don't want to put my two friends in a potentially awkward position. However, I really feel that this person will come off as "bizarre" to my other friends who have had zero interaction with him up to this point--which I believe could cause his feelings to be hurt inadvertently.
Perhaps I am obsessing about an non-issue.. But this constantly happens to me. I am always in these situations that I feel like I am damned if I do and damned if I don't.
Honestly, I am cringing in horror of what this person can be like at my dinner ( did I mention he doesn't drink or watch television and has this rude habit of cutting everyone off during conversations?) and just seeing what type of reaction that could evolve from his presence.
I feel if anyone is going to be obnoxious at my dinner, it should be me... I feel I shouldn't have to worry about the actions of someone else on my special day. Furthermore, I really rather not feel like I have to explain someones bizarre behavior to 20 of my friends before my own dinner.
Its very early in the game to be thinking about my b-day, but I have to see this person everyday and I rather not have to deal with any awkwardness at work from my decision.
Am I a horrible person for feeling this way?
HELP!!!
**Calling out for Tab's advice on this one.. You have interacted with this person, and I know can provide me with some good insight on the situation**
Goodness Gracious! Its not even Christmas and I am ALREADY thinking about my birthday at the end of January.
In case you didn't know, each year I organize a birthday dinner, in my honor. To this dinner, I invite all my friends and a select few from my family. Its a blast!
Anyway, I don't EVEN know how this subject evolved, but the question of whether I would invite a certain coworker of mine to my b-day dinner came up today.
Here is where the problem lies:
I am very friendly with a good portion of my coworkers, and these people do indeed work with this other person that my friend, who is also my coworker, was asking me about. However, this person would be described--at best-- as socially awkward.
This obviously makes me feel at a crossroads on what to do. There is the one side of me who doesn't want to hurt the feelings of one of the coworkers that I eat lunch with, while I invite the other two. And then there is this feeling that keeps coming into my head about how this person will come, say something rather obnoxious or what would be considered rude (of course not on purpose), and create some hidden tension at the table.
I am not particularly close to this coworker, but I don't HATE him either. My friend said that I should just invite him, because she doubts he will go AND if he does, then she will babysit him.
That's all fine and good, I guess... But I can't help feeling that why should I invite someone to my own 30Th b-day dinner, that I would rather not be there overall? Again, I realize it sounds cruel, but if its my night I feel I shouldn't have to worry about the reactions of my friends in the room about what this person might say--which,again, I think, is unpredictable.
I certainly don't want to hurt his feelings and I don't want to put my two friends in a potentially awkward position. However, I really feel that this person will come off as "bizarre" to my other friends who have had zero interaction with him up to this point--which I believe could cause his feelings to be hurt inadvertently.
Perhaps I am obsessing about an non-issue.. But this constantly happens to me. I am always in these situations that I feel like I am damned if I do and damned if I don't.
Honestly, I am cringing in horror of what this person can be like at my dinner ( did I mention he doesn't drink or watch television and has this rude habit of cutting everyone off during conversations?) and just seeing what type of reaction that could evolve from his presence.
I feel if anyone is going to be obnoxious at my dinner, it should be me... I feel I shouldn't have to worry about the actions of someone else on my special day. Furthermore, I really rather not feel like I have to explain someones bizarre behavior to 20 of my friends before my own dinner.
Its very early in the game to be thinking about my b-day, but I have to see this person everyday and I rather not have to deal with any awkwardness at work from my decision.
Am I a horrible person for feeling this way?
HELP!!!
**Calling out for Tab's advice on this one.. You have interacted with this person, and I know can provide me with some good insight on the situation**
posted by flawedperfection @ 8:28 PM
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