Defying Gravity

It has been some time since I last posted to a blog. A lot has changed in my life since I last decided to express myself in a public forum. For starters, I am done with Grad. School, I am done being hung up on "X" guy, and I can actually say that I am in a better place than I was the last time I wrote (I am sure the anti-depressants have helped with all the formers).

What I have noticed the most, however, after perusing these prior blogs is that I feel I am not as co-dependent as I used to be. Looking back, I guess I noticed how out of control I felt my life was, and how incomplete it was because others lives seem to be progressing a lot more than my own.

I can't say that I still don't have those hang-ups from time to time, but I am just amazed now how different I am from the person I was; which feels like a life time ago, has only been a couple of years.

Although I am a little thicker around the mid-section and maybe don't have the baby face I once had. I feel more empowered. Perhaps, the weight is a protective layer that I use to disarm people or to prevent from getting hurt (still working out the kinks on that). I truly feel more at peace.

And while my brother and friends' lives are truly going upward and onward, I no longer feel left behind, because mine isn't going at the same rate. I don't do comparison shopping the way I once did.

There is this song that I have found that has identified my emotion currently from Wicked called: Defying Gravity. The words to the song make me feel a close affiliation to it. Because for the first time, since I can remember, I am defying gravity, through my ability to be content with who I am-- flaws and all.