Gay Dynamics

Let me preface this blog by saying, I love being gay. Being a homosexual is an extraordinary life experience. Sure, if you asked me when I was a teenager, would I have chosen this life path, I would have said no. However, after being out, and living my life as a gay male, I love my individuality.

But, with all great things, come great obstacles. For instance, I often feel like I am objectified. I feel like gay males, don't seem to care about your character as much as whether you have a big dick, bank account, and a tight body.

This weekend, I will be enduring this type of atmosphere once again. I have been invited to one of the biggest, gayest, parties of the year. Many gays we'll be there, speculating who has slept with you, who will be sleeping with who and who will be getting plastered.

There is a guarantee of their being plenty of alcohol, not enough food, and at least 30% of the people getting laid. I suppose I will be the lucky one, cause I know that most will judge me as too fat and not wealthy enough to entertain.

Yet, when you are in that kind of environment, the last thing you want is not to fit in. Sure, on the surface, you should feel good that you are above it. However, it is like in High School, no matter how much you hate the cool people, you still want to be invited to eat lunch with them at their table at least for one day. Not so much to be a part of the crowd, as much as it to see what it would be like to be them, just for a moment.

So, while I will bitch about the antics that will be occurring at said party, there is a part of me that will like to relish in the thought that maybe I'll be lucky enough to have a taste of it.

And if that doesn't happen, at least there will be plenty of alcohol to suppress the inner desire-- if only for the night..