When Did It Become Ok?!
For Losers to Hit on you at Bars?
Recently this has happened to me quite a bit, and I am frustrated.
In my feeble attempt to deal with the worse holiday of year, I went out on Monday (Karaoke) night to my local, friendly bar for a cocktail consisting of a glass of sprite. As I was minding my own business and enjoying making a mockary with an aquaintance of mine of all the sappy love songs people were singing, this guy asks me about the song selections. I told him that I didn't know, and from there, he starts generating a conversation with me.
The man, who was very polite, goes on to tell me he is from New Orleans, but was pushed out of there after the hurricane, and is now living by the shore line of New Jersey. I tell him I am sorry for everything he had to go through, he says thank you. Overall, it was a friendly conversation. As the conversation progresses, he asks me to sing a song with him. I told him I might, depending upon when I get called on for the first song I put in (By this time it was 11, and I put my song in at 9:30), because I can't be there all night.
So, he increases the flirting with each item that comes out of his mouth. I am still playing it cool-- although he was cute, I really wanted to see if there was a catch to his behavior. Eventually, I come to find out from him that he is in a 8 year, open relationship. Now, while I appreciate this man's honesty, at that moment I wasn't interested in nothing more than a friendship tie with him. I tried to not make this entirely obvious, but I have never been good at hiding my emotions.
I guess after he felt my reaction, he goes "Listen, its only one night-- just because I am not going to marry you, doesn't mean we can't have a good time"
Now, ordinarily I would rant about this reaction. However, I am turning a new leaf in my life ( or at least at the moment, I just don't have the energy to speak about it), so I will let the words speak for themself.
I just really want to know.....
When did it become ok for Men to act this way toward potential mates? Does he think that I am unpaid escort, creeping around the bars, looking for men to bang me-- no matter what they look like, their self-worth, or, whether or not they have a steady man.
I wish I could say that this NEVER happens, but alas this situation has not been an unique experience in my life. Instead, I have been cornered by many men in my community who are in relationships, but also want to a hot night in the hay. Although I could gather comfort in that this has happened before, I have not heard this happening to many other people that I know, and I am left to wonder if its just how I am, or a vibe that I am giving off, that gives them the impression its ok to treat me like a slut.
Anyway, after he said that I told him that I had an early morning and he should probably call his boyfriend and tell him that he loves him. Even though it wasn't the usual in your face zinger I would give in this situation, it was one that gave me a smile during my walk home.
Recently this has happened to me quite a bit, and I am frustrated.
In my feeble attempt to deal with the worse holiday of year, I went out on Monday (Karaoke) night to my local, friendly bar for a cocktail consisting of a glass of sprite. As I was minding my own business and enjoying making a mockary with an aquaintance of mine of all the sappy love songs people were singing, this guy asks me about the song selections. I told him that I didn't know, and from there, he starts generating a conversation with me.
The man, who was very polite, goes on to tell me he is from New Orleans, but was pushed out of there after the hurricane, and is now living by the shore line of New Jersey. I tell him I am sorry for everything he had to go through, he says thank you. Overall, it was a friendly conversation. As the conversation progresses, he asks me to sing a song with him. I told him I might, depending upon when I get called on for the first song I put in (By this time it was 11, and I put my song in at 9:30), because I can't be there all night.
So, he increases the flirting with each item that comes out of his mouth. I am still playing it cool-- although he was cute, I really wanted to see if there was a catch to his behavior. Eventually, I come to find out from him that he is in a 8 year, open relationship. Now, while I appreciate this man's honesty, at that moment I wasn't interested in nothing more than a friendship tie with him. I tried to not make this entirely obvious, but I have never been good at hiding my emotions.
I guess after he felt my reaction, he goes "Listen, its only one night-- just because I am not going to marry you, doesn't mean we can't have a good time"
Now, ordinarily I would rant about this reaction. However, I am turning a new leaf in my life ( or at least at the moment, I just don't have the energy to speak about it), so I will let the words speak for themself.
I just really want to know.....
When did it become ok for Men to act this way toward potential mates? Does he think that I am unpaid escort, creeping around the bars, looking for men to bang me-- no matter what they look like, their self-worth, or, whether or not they have a steady man.
I wish I could say that this NEVER happens, but alas this situation has not been an unique experience in my life. Instead, I have been cornered by many men in my community who are in relationships, but also want to a hot night in the hay. Although I could gather comfort in that this has happened before, I have not heard this happening to many other people that I know, and I am left to wonder if its just how I am, or a vibe that I am giving off, that gives them the impression its ok to treat me like a slut.
Anyway, after he said that I told him that I had an early morning and he should probably call his boyfriend and tell him that he loves him. Even though it wasn't the usual in your face zinger I would give in this situation, it was one that gave me a smile during my walk home.
posted by flawedperfection @ 6:34 AM
1 Comments:
At 12:02 AM,
Alex said…
Men are scum, dude, you should know that. I can't stand the attitude of, for one, the entitlement to sex and pleasure, and two, the disdain for people who don't share their views on 'open relationships'. If i had a boyfriend and he suggested an 'open relationship', his ass would be on the ground outside my door in a matter of seconds.
For the record, I've heard from my straight gals that straight men do the same thing...so its good that its not just us.
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