Oh The Butterflies
A long time ago my friend's ex-boyfriend told him that one of the reasons he ended their long-term relationship was because he "missed the butterflies" that comes with meeting someone new. Although everytime I think about this story, it infuriates me because his reasoning at best is sh*tty, it does make me wonder whether the reason that people don't want to settle down is because the butterflies fade after time?
Lately, I can't help but to admit that I miss the butterflies. I miss meeting a "decent" guy, getting excited about going out on a first date, receiving a first kiss, and the mental excitment that comes with the unknown. Granted, I have never been very patient in the dating department, but there is a part of me that loves feeling like I could be closer to finding "the one." However, as of recently, the only excitment in my love life has been watching a bushel of tumbleweed pass by it. While there have been intimate moments, these moments weren't meant to last longer than the intial encounter. To avoid robbing myself of some real intimacty, recently, I decided to forgoe those random moments and look for something MORE substantial.
However, in my quest to find this, I have come up empty. Its sad to think that my only options may only be those random moments or sitting home alone. I find myself going on personals, and in chatrooms and feeling like that I have either dated/encountered, or have had a friend that has, with each persons' picture I view.
My attempts with the bar scene are no different. Most of the time the guys there are either too old or too young, or quite frankly are just not for me.
To say I am confused on what to do next is an understatement.
All that I do know for sure is that I miss holding/being held by someone, having those magical kisses that give you flashbacks for days on end after they first occur, and just feeling like I can be my REAL self around someone and finding that they believe that I am still adorable.
I realize Prince Charming is taken, but does he have distant gay cousin available? I am in the need for some real magic!
Lately, I can't help but to admit that I miss the butterflies. I miss meeting a "decent" guy, getting excited about going out on a first date, receiving a first kiss, and the mental excitment that comes with the unknown. Granted, I have never been very patient in the dating department, but there is a part of me that loves feeling like I could be closer to finding "the one." However, as of recently, the only excitment in my love life has been watching a bushel of tumbleweed pass by it. While there have been intimate moments, these moments weren't meant to last longer than the intial encounter. To avoid robbing myself of some real intimacty, recently, I decided to forgoe those random moments and look for something MORE substantial.
However, in my quest to find this, I have come up empty. Its sad to think that my only options may only be those random moments or sitting home alone. I find myself going on personals, and in chatrooms and feeling like that I have either dated/encountered, or have had a friend that has, with each persons' picture I view.
My attempts with the bar scene are no different. Most of the time the guys there are either too old or too young, or quite frankly are just not for me.
To say I am confused on what to do next is an understatement.
All that I do know for sure is that I miss holding/being held by someone, having those magical kisses that give you flashbacks for days on end after they first occur, and just feeling like I can be my REAL self around someone and finding that they believe that I am still adorable.
I realize Prince Charming is taken, but does he have distant gay cousin available? I am in the need for some real magic!
posted by flawedperfection @ 1:07 PM
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