High School Sweetheart
I have been thinking a lot about my high school life recently. It all began with hearing that someone, who was very close friend of mine when I was in high school--we are no longer for many reasons--had a baby.
This moment has made me really wonder about where I was in high school and how that is different from where I am now.
After much introspection, I found while there are many things that have happened-- graduating from college, moving into my own place, traveling to lots of places, practically finished with grad. school-- the one thing that I have found that is still the same is my love life.
I hate to stereotype my lifestyle in anyway, but I have to tell you when it comes to the "bees and bees" of my love life, I really do live in a culture that, at times, fixates on the feelings and pressures associated with high school, or in some cases its pre-requistes.
Many of the men in this world (gay or straight) have very immature qualities that really stumpts them from making a true commitment. However, in my gay world, it almost seems taboo to even attempt a meaningful realtionship. Thinking about high school, when so many people really sharpened their claws with their education, fashion and yes, their love-life. I am left to wonder if the reasons why, we as gay people are so scared to move-on, move-in, and commit to our partners is due to never have an authetic high school sweetheart?
On so many levels, being gay is about constant growing over so much aversity and recovering from very important phsyical and emotional years of our lives. I often think about the day when my man will come along. When the other half of my puzzle will be complete. I have come to the point of my life where I feel I have so much to share, and am at an age when I am sophisticated enough-- and not so old-- to embrace such a monumental moment of my life.
I could go on for hours about my endless credentials that will either leave you impressed, OR can leave you with a very nasty taste in your mouth-- so I won't go there for everyones' benefit.
However, it makes me wonder whether, we as gays, had the same freedoms that our straight adolescents had, if perhaps, on some cosmic level, if we would be more ready to embrace those magical moments that a relationship can provide for you. No one can think a 100% success is realistic or even attainable. I just think it would be nice if the percentage of those successful in the love department encompassed me.
This moment has made me really wonder about where I was in high school and how that is different from where I am now.
After much introspection, I found while there are many things that have happened-- graduating from college, moving into my own place, traveling to lots of places, practically finished with grad. school-- the one thing that I have found that is still the same is my love life.
I hate to stereotype my lifestyle in anyway, but I have to tell you when it comes to the "bees and bees" of my love life, I really do live in a culture that, at times, fixates on the feelings and pressures associated with high school, or in some cases its pre-requistes.
Many of the men in this world (gay or straight) have very immature qualities that really stumpts them from making a true commitment. However, in my gay world, it almost seems taboo to even attempt a meaningful realtionship. Thinking about high school, when so many people really sharpened their claws with their education, fashion and yes, their love-life. I am left to wonder if the reasons why, we as gay people are so scared to move-on, move-in, and commit to our partners is due to never have an authetic high school sweetheart?
On so many levels, being gay is about constant growing over so much aversity and recovering from very important phsyical and emotional years of our lives. I often think about the day when my man will come along. When the other half of my puzzle will be complete. I have come to the point of my life where I feel I have so much to share, and am at an age when I am sophisticated enough-- and not so old-- to embrace such a monumental moment of my life.
I could go on for hours about my endless credentials that will either leave you impressed, OR can leave you with a very nasty taste in your mouth-- so I won't go there for everyones' benefit.
However, it makes me wonder whether, we as gays, had the same freedoms that our straight adolescents had, if perhaps, on some cosmic level, if we would be more ready to embrace those magical moments that a relationship can provide for you. No one can think a 100% success is realistic or even attainable. I just think it would be nice if the percentage of those successful in the love department encompassed me.
posted by flawedperfection @ 6:28 PM
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