F*#K BootCamp
There are many moments in my life where I feel like someone upstairs is having a HUGE laugh at my expense.
One such example occurred on Monday evening.
Because I am 98% finished with my grad. degree (i.e., still waiting on my secondary reader to approve my thesis), I decided it was time for me to stop denying that I have gained weight since my time in school, and become really proactive about shedding the extra lbs.
I dreamt that my new days at the gym would be filled with the times like it was when I had my old, more in shape, better body. So, I decided-- Mr. Confident-- to take an aerobics class called "BootCamp". I heard from many friends, who also attended my gym, that this class really challenges your body and it will get me in shape pretty fast.
As I approached the exercise room, giddy with delight, I began to stretch and checked to see if my bottled water and towel were close by--afterall I need to keep my body hydrated.
After a few minutes of fun stretching, the instructor entered the room (somewhere in this moment should be the music "da, da, dum").
As this an attractive, in-shape man-- who I must say was very easy on the eyes-- began the class for me and 6 other girls in the room (yes, I was the only male), he states how we are going outside today because its nice weather, and he "wants us to run, and see us suffer."
This wasn't the sentence my mind or body needed to hear.
So, as the class heads toward the door, one woman slowly migrates to the elyptical machine-- damn her for being so smart-- and abandones the class. I, on the other, who at this moment think I resemble Superman's looks and physique, think I could handle this class and this man. Afterall, I haven't been to the gym on a regular basis in over 2 years, why would I think otherwise?
The class begins and we begin running, and running, and he is shouting "Come on, Faster-- Keep Up". All I wanted to do at these moments was to run fast enough to knock him over, so I had a chance to breathe.
After about a mile and a half of running- or what I like to call my close encounter with hell-- he has us stop.
Think the class would get easier.. Yeah, so Did I.. I am not that lucky
He goes "Now we are going to do some stretches, but we are REALLY going to work those muscles".
Again, not a sentence I wanted to hear.
This man must hate the fact that people do other things than exercise, because he punished all of us for our indescretions outside of the gym. He had working on our triceps by making put the end of our hands against a bench and performing forward push-ups. Then he stretched our legs to the point that I thought one of my limbs had severed off during the process because I couldn't feel it anymore. And besides all of of that, he was telling us all that "This was GOOD for US"
Oh God will this man ever shut up!
After about 20 minutes and him insisting that I should tell him when it was ok to stop, and after I screamed "STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
He thought it would be fun to run again.
Oh, what fun!
I began running and I began huffing and puffing, and huffing, and praying to the lord not to have me die in the middle of a dirt road, until he comes up to me and says that I am "NOT Keeping Up".
So, I reminded him that this wasn't "Actual Bootcamp", and that I beat to my own drum. He asked what's wrong, and I told him that my back was hurting while I was running.
He then says, "Well that must be because you have weak ab muscles".
You think so? You know because after not going to the gym or having any type of exercise routine, and eating everythning in site and whatever I wanted for 2 and 1/2 years, I thought I would have Abs of Steel.
I love the BRILLIANT observations people make in life.
He then goes on to say.. Well, just catch up to us.. So, I said I will do that-- knowing full well, when he was out of eye sight I was going to run as fast as I could in the other direction back to the gym.
And So I Did...
Once I returned to the gym, I got on the elyptical machine next to the girl who at this point I thought was as wise as Yoda from those Star Wars movies, and began to workout my way and at MY pace.
After about 30 minutes on the machine, the instructor comes up to me and says "What happened to you?"
As if it wasn't obvious that I ditched his class to come back to the gym. I said " I came back here"
He said " I was worried about you, you should have thought to let me know what happened to you"
Oh.. Thats right.. Nevermind the fact that I realize how truly out of shape my body is, or how I was the only male in the class, besides him, and I couldn't keep up with the women, or how I thought I was going to die-- my first thought of course is to worry about him and HIS FEELINGS. Afterall, thats why I am going to the gym in the first place.
Following his wonderful response. I politely asked him if he was telepathic.
He said no.
So, therefore, I felt it was only appropriate that I remind him that I don't have his e-mail, pager, or cell phone number and that because I just met him this evening there was no way I could possibly tell him that I was going back to the gym unless he was telepathic.
He then said, "It would have still been nice to know"
Yes, I guess it would have been nice to know that I wasn't going to be back at class. It would have also been nice to know that when I signed up to go into this class that you were going to put me through hell, and have me see visions of the pearly gates. Or, that the class would be outside in 90 degree humid weather-- perfect running weather, for people with a death wish,
And most imporatantly, that when I actually signed up for the class that I was going to have to deal with a**hole instructor more concerned about maintaining his own health and stamina, than those he teaches, and being a total prick through the entire process.
Yes, It would have been nice to know a lot of things, but afterall none of us are telepathic, so I guess in some cases we all have to learn things the hard way!
I know I learned my lesson.. Wonder what it is...
Well, I learned that I need to know my limitations and when someone who is that difficult is teaching a course, you can either fold your cards and walk away or rise to the challenge.
Wanna know what I am going to do..
Stay tuned..
One such example occurred on Monday evening.
Because I am 98% finished with my grad. degree (i.e., still waiting on my secondary reader to approve my thesis), I decided it was time for me to stop denying that I have gained weight since my time in school, and become really proactive about shedding the extra lbs.
I dreamt that my new days at the gym would be filled with the times like it was when I had my old, more in shape, better body. So, I decided-- Mr. Confident-- to take an aerobics class called "BootCamp". I heard from many friends, who also attended my gym, that this class really challenges your body and it will get me in shape pretty fast.
As I approached the exercise room, giddy with delight, I began to stretch and checked to see if my bottled water and towel were close by--afterall I need to keep my body hydrated.
After a few minutes of fun stretching, the instructor entered the room (somewhere in this moment should be the music "da, da, dum").
As this an attractive, in-shape man-- who I must say was very easy on the eyes-- began the class for me and 6 other girls in the room (yes, I was the only male), he states how we are going outside today because its nice weather, and he "wants us to run, and see us suffer."
This wasn't the sentence my mind or body needed to hear.
So, as the class heads toward the door, one woman slowly migrates to the elyptical machine-- damn her for being so smart-- and abandones the class. I, on the other, who at this moment think I resemble Superman's looks and physique, think I could handle this class and this man. Afterall, I haven't been to the gym on a regular basis in over 2 years, why would I think otherwise?
The class begins and we begin running, and running, and he is shouting "Come on, Faster-- Keep Up". All I wanted to do at these moments was to run fast enough to knock him over, so I had a chance to breathe.
After about a mile and a half of running- or what I like to call my close encounter with hell-- he has us stop.
Think the class would get easier.. Yeah, so Did I.. I am not that lucky
He goes "Now we are going to do some stretches, but we are REALLY going to work those muscles".
Again, not a sentence I wanted to hear.
This man must hate the fact that people do other things than exercise, because he punished all of us for our indescretions outside of the gym. He had working on our triceps by making put the end of our hands against a bench and performing forward push-ups. Then he stretched our legs to the point that I thought one of my limbs had severed off during the process because I couldn't feel it anymore. And besides all of of that, he was telling us all that "This was GOOD for US"
Oh God will this man ever shut up!
After about 20 minutes and him insisting that I should tell him when it was ok to stop, and after I screamed "STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
He thought it would be fun to run again.
Oh, what fun!
I began running and I began huffing and puffing, and huffing, and praying to the lord not to have me die in the middle of a dirt road, until he comes up to me and says that I am "NOT Keeping Up".
So, I reminded him that this wasn't "Actual Bootcamp", and that I beat to my own drum. He asked what's wrong, and I told him that my back was hurting while I was running.
He then says, "Well that must be because you have weak ab muscles".
You think so? You know because after not going to the gym or having any type of exercise routine, and eating everythning in site and whatever I wanted for 2 and 1/2 years, I thought I would have Abs of Steel.
I love the BRILLIANT observations people make in life.
He then goes on to say.. Well, just catch up to us.. So, I said I will do that-- knowing full well, when he was out of eye sight I was going to run as fast as I could in the other direction back to the gym.
And So I Did...
Once I returned to the gym, I got on the elyptical machine next to the girl who at this point I thought was as wise as Yoda from those Star Wars movies, and began to workout my way and at MY pace.
After about 30 minutes on the machine, the instructor comes up to me and says "What happened to you?"
As if it wasn't obvious that I ditched his class to come back to the gym. I said " I came back here"
He said " I was worried about you, you should have thought to let me know what happened to you"
Oh.. Thats right.. Nevermind the fact that I realize how truly out of shape my body is, or how I was the only male in the class, besides him, and I couldn't keep up with the women, or how I thought I was going to die-- my first thought of course is to worry about him and HIS FEELINGS. Afterall, thats why I am going to the gym in the first place.
Following his wonderful response. I politely asked him if he was telepathic.
He said no.
So, therefore, I felt it was only appropriate that I remind him that I don't have his e-mail, pager, or cell phone number and that because I just met him this evening there was no way I could possibly tell him that I was going back to the gym unless he was telepathic.
He then said, "It would have still been nice to know"
Yes, I guess it would have been nice to know that I wasn't going to be back at class. It would have also been nice to know that when I signed up to go into this class that you were going to put me through hell, and have me see visions of the pearly gates. Or, that the class would be outside in 90 degree humid weather-- perfect running weather, for people with a death wish,
And most imporatantly, that when I actually signed up for the class that I was going to have to deal with a**hole instructor more concerned about maintaining his own health and stamina, than those he teaches, and being a total prick through the entire process.
Yes, It would have been nice to know a lot of things, but afterall none of us are telepathic, so I guess in some cases we all have to learn things the hard way!
I know I learned my lesson.. Wonder what it is...
Well, I learned that I need to know my limitations and when someone who is that difficult is teaching a course, you can either fold your cards and walk away or rise to the challenge.
Wanna know what I am going to do..
Stay tuned..
posted by flawedperfection @ 8:52 AM
1 Comments:
At 8:45 AM,
Gigi said…
perhaps just as a recommnedation, start slow. Every time I've been away from the gym for a while, I make sure I take things slower than if I had actually kept up with my workout routines since there are also a lot of dangers to overworking or hurting yourself. Don't forget to stretch your muscles a bit before you do any sort of lifting/running. I've found that stretching in the sauna cuts down on the amount of time I need to stretch before my muscles are warmed up enough to actually handle excercise. Take it easy, don't worry too much about the instructor who obviously has not stopped working out for at least the last 5 years and who is paid to convince people his class is going to help you improve physically. They miss the point that health is not just about physical wellness, mental wellness is just as important. Taking it at your pace will be a good place to start...but don't forget to push yourself a little bit at a time as you get back into "the gym routine"! =) Good luck! (man now I feel like I need to go to the gym! me + summer or work = lazy)
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