Destination Nowhere

I have been dating quite a bit lately. Actually, I have probably not have had this busy of a dating life in about 6-8 months.

This time around I have met some really great guys. To be honest, I really should feel lucky that I have met men who are so attentive-- phone calls, e-mails to see how I am doing. Taking me to dinner, etc.

Still, though, I haven't really been feeling the whole dating vibe. No butterflies, no excitement, and certainly-- and this is new for me-- no expecations.

Over the last month and half or so, I have begun to have lower and lower expectations of situations and especially with people. This isn't an entirely new behavior for me. In the past, I have gone into slumps where I just don't care about anything up to including getting out of bed and/or showering.

However, this isn't necessarily a sad emotion (or maybe it is and I just have gotten used to feeling this way), but rather just a feeling of "Que Sera," whatever will be will be. I just have been finding it mentally exhausitng to think about where I am going, who I am going to be with, how long it will take meet to X goal, and especially the most important thought of all, what will the love of my life will be like and when will I meet him.

I am someone who always works in windows. A lot of my friends have called me out on it. While this behavior is good to have when organizing events, its not quite as effective when trying to organize the emotional aspects to your life.

Maybe I have come to realize, somewhat subconsciously, to put certain things in its place. And to just appreciate the moment and letting things come as they may. Even when it seems that I don't know where I am going or when I will end up there.

Stop Using "Being Gay" as an Excuse for Terrible Behavior!!!!

If it hasn't been blatantly obvious to any readers of my blog that I am gay by now-- please remove the wool you clearly must have over your eyes.

So, yes, I am gay. Yes, I haven't hidden this fact, nor have I used it as a crutch for any poor behavior or decisions that I have made in my life. I made my mistakes by my own choosing.. And YES America, I do know right from wrong.

You must wonder why I am pontificating these points on my blog?

Well.. Lately, it has seemed that we have these wonderful politicians from both our major parties in America, using "Being Gay" as an excuse for their immoral behavior, and it appears that the ONLY reason they are using this reason isn't because they are embracing their sexuality, but are trying to cover their own asses.

Stop McGreevey(McSleazzzy) and Foley (You perv) using being gay as a reason for committing the crimes you performed. Us EVERYDAY GAYS, like myself, don't need your reputations associated with US.

You see, we everyday gays, get out of bed in the morning, go to work, have goals and ambitions of our own, and just in case you are wondering-- we DO NOT solicit sex from underage boys or embezzle money from the very taxpayers we represent.

When people like you come out of the closet, you only make our fight for equal rights more difficult. Clearly, you people do not care about that, because its clear that your so selfish that you only care about your own angel. What you people have done is help to diminish what people like Barney Frank has done as a OPEN gay politician. It amazes me that he can manage to have a pretty normal life, being a gay male and be a politician, and has managed to NEVER use his sexuality to perform horrendous crimes.

So, please STOP using your sexuality as an excuse for poor behavior. I am tired of people like you trying to assimilate into my culture, after you have nowhere else to turn. I don't want my identity associated with people like you.

After all, lets face it, if you didn't have to come out of the closet, we ALL know that you wouldn't have done so.

So, do the gay world a favor stop using "Being Gay" as a reason for your behavior and just admit to the world that the reason you committed your crimes is because you are disgusting human beings-- because, honestly, that is the REAL reason for your poor behavior. Stop trying to pull the wool over America's eyes, and more importantly, STOP bringing us gays down with you!